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[31 Oct 2005|03:41pm] |
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I just don't feel like it anymore.
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| Important. |
[09 Aug 2005|02:32am] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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music |
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Let it go, let it go, let it go... |
] |
If you see me with another person, on a date or anything, don't go running back to Sam! That's called gossiping!
If you see Sam with another person, on a date or anything, don't go running back to me! That's ALSO called gossiping!
I don't want to hear it and I can swear on my life that he doesn't either, so get over it.
You are going to see us with other people and should not feel obliged to share what you see! It is not your duty to inform us of the other's actions and we most certainly will not appreciate it if you do.
We're letting go and so should you!
Thank you.
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| ok. |
[29 Jun 2005|08:00pm] |
so i thought i was getting my phone back and i still might be, but just in case, anyone i know whose number i had in my phone, please post a comment with your name and number so i can regain them all.
if i didn't have your number and you want me to now, that's cool too.
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[01 May 2005|10:14am] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
] |
ok this is finally happening.
my journal has become friends only.
ask me to add if you're currently a friend of mine (in real life) and have just been reading my journal.
thanks all.
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[24 Apr 2005|08:38pm] |
this weekend i had lots of mega fun. i'll do a real update later.
::) ♥ (::
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| fun stuff ^_^ |
[23 Apr 2005|10:50am] |
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mood |
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 just woke up. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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i love my mommy cause she fucked my dad. |
] |
i had soooo much fun last night.
sam brought me (and we picked up thomas on the way ^_^) to go across the lake to cypress.
we saw:
-sam (mike)
-sara (penis)
-jude
-vikki (wow... she's hott...)
-eddie
-eddie (lol)
-gretchen (along with her friend and super cool mom)
-kait (new friend)
-a buncha other people that i either met once before or never met at all. but they're still fun people :)
it was a lotta fun. i know i have to be forgetting one key person in there so when i remember i'll put it. lol.
i felt so relaxed last night. i havent seen all of my friends from over there in such a long time. i was pretty upset that i didnt get to see roxie though. i told her wednesday night that i wanted to make plans with her and i told her i'd ask sam to bring me to see her and if i remember correctly she seemed pretty happy. she had to work at jazzfest yesterday though so it's understandable.
i miss her though :(
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| hmm |
[21 Apr 2005|10:09pm] |
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mood |
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 yay! this weeknd should b fun! |
] |
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music |
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i never told you what i do for a living- my chemical romance |
] |
( and only death will love her now )
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[21 Apr 2005|05:45pm] |
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mood |
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 interesting... |
] |
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music |
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i wanna feel you from the inside... |
] |
( ::)bite me softly(:: )
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| i like these things... |
[20 Apr 2005|07:57pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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faggot- msi |
] |
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Mia (bia--for celeste)
2. Mariel
3. Mimi
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. being alone
2. losing love
3. anger
THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY:
1. rain
2. music
3. being held
THREE THINGS YOU HATE:
1. hate
2. closed-minded-ness
3. fear
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. food - a lot of it.
2. cell fone or internet - talking's a must
3. 2 rings that (need to start wearing them again, havent worn 'em in a while)
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. glasses
2. alicia's shirt
3. shoes
THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE (OR SAME) SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. smile/eyes
2. appreciation of everyday things
3. the way their hair falls on their face
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. music
2. sleeping
3. walking
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. be held by certain someone
2. go on vacation (to a beach maybe..?)
3. a car, or at least a ride to see someone
THREE CAREERS YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. massage therapy
2. psychology professor
3. photogropher
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. germany (to visit tony and phil)
2. tampa, florida (to visit family)
3. road trip to various locations
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. love and be loved (and have it last)
2. help someone in some way without expecting something in return
3. write a song that i actually like
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[14 Apr 2005|05:23pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
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music |
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cemetary drive- my chemical romance |
] |
today's my parents' anniversary. yay. happy for them!
im going to brie's tonight cause mom and dad are going to stay with their friends in mobile. should be fun.
but they're coming to get me between 630 and 7 so i should go take a shower... bah humbug. yeah. i should do that.
better update later :)
<333
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[12 Apr 2005|05:54pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
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music |
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im not ok (i promise)- my chemical romance |
] |
well this started to get confusing but i think everything's starting to work itself out. i hope...
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| boom. |
[08 Apr 2005|05:04pm] |
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mood |
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 i feel drunk with laughter |
] |
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music |
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longview- green day |
] |
boomer's here. we're just hanging out. i get to do his hair. woot. then we're going to books to hang out. then im staying the night at brie's. should be interesting. more later.
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[06 Apr 2005|05:34pm] |
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mood |
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pessimistic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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old apartment- barenaked ladies |
] |
ughh. i wanna make a date for saturday! i want to go to books friday and someone just catch my eye. then they'll be automatically attracted to me (haha yeah right) and we'll go on a date saturday to spicky rock fest.
::in my own little dream world::
but yeah... that's what i want. oooo... but i also want someone pretty. yes yes yes... reallllly pretty. i never go for the gorgeous rock star marry me now type... i mean, i've gotten lucky with a few gorgeous boyfriends, but i reallllly want someone wonderfully pretty for saturday. and i dont care how shallow that sounds because that's not ALL i'm lookin for. i need someone that actually has a brain and can keep up conversation. also, i'd like someone funny... and i know that's kinda picky but hey, i want it!
the thing is, that description is more of what i want that i'd like to have and keep in someone. for this weekend i just want someone fun. i dont wanna get attached. i cant do that again.
i'll end up with no date on saturday though. i can feel it.
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[05 Apr 2005|09:51pm] |
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mood |
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 rainy |
] |
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music |
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only happy when it rains- garbage |
] |
I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
and though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
you know I love it when the news is bad
and why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains
pour your misery down...
pour your misery down on me
pour your misery down...
pour your misery down on me
I'm only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad sad songs
I'm only happy when it rains
I only smile in the dark
my only comfort is the night gone black
I didn't accidentally tell you that
I'm only happy when it rains
you'll get the message by the time I'm through
when I complain about me and you
I'm only happy when it rains
pour your misery down...
pour your misery down on me
pour your misery down...
pour your misery down on me
pour your misery down...
pour your misery down on me
pour your misery down
you can keep me company as long as you don't care
I'm only happy when it rains
you wanna hear about my new obsession
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains
pour some misery down on me
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| i know who i want to take me home... |
[04 Apr 2005|05:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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artistic |
] |
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music |
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silver bullet- hawthorne heights |
] |
well well well... im really hungry. and tired. last night i forced myself to not look at the clock that way i wouldnt count how many hours of sleep i'd be getting. it was hard. i didnt get enough sleep anyway though. poo...
i can't wait to go to a beach. i havent been at all yet. i might get my parents to bring me and some friends out to destin or something. i just wanna go!
im also looking for someone to date. nothing serious, just to get me back out so i wont sit and sulk. not that im sulking anymore. im actually pretty happy lately. i've had a lot more time to hang out with friends.
i cant say i dont miss sam and being in a relationship though cause i do. but that makes sense. i was with him for over a year. but now it's more like i miss talking to him since we were so close. im not wishing i were with him all the time and constantly thinking of him.
it's been nice to feel normal again. i really just had to confront everything and i finally talked myself into it. i've know it's what i had to do i just had to get the balls to do it. now i feel fine.
today i didnt really think of him until someone mentioned him and asked how things were going. of course this was in the middle of the day so i thought about him a little for the rest of it but it wasnt unhealthy thoughts. it was more like "i wonder if he already realized this" and "how will it be if we run into each other this weekend" instead of "i just wish he'd call and say he didnt mean it" and "why doesnt he love me enough to work it out". i realized that's not it at all. he does love me. maybe not the same way or as much as he used to but hey, it's love all the same. i know he still cares and worries. this is something everyone goes through. relationships just dont work out sometimes. this is something i've been afraid of my whole life and that's why it hit me so hard. now that i've had time to actually listen to my thoughts it's been easier to deal with.
it's also what helped me realized i should try to date. there's no way i'll be happy sitting around watching everyone else. that's just depressing.
which is exactly why i'm going to try to go to books this friday and hang out with everyone. i'll look around, see if i can figure out my "type" and start getting interested. haha. crazy...
but yeah. then saturday i might try to go out. as in on a date. that is if i find someone worth it by then. not saying that i wont, just doubting that i will. everyone's already in a relationship, just getting over one, or im just "not their type". haha. hopefully something'll work out. this could end up as just a friendly weekend.
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[03 Apr 2005|05:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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satisfied |
] |
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music |
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silver bullet- hawthorne heights |
] |
i forgot to mention something. i didnt dream about sam last night. first time since sunday night. it felt good. kind of a relief. it was a really weird dream though... crazy.
me and celeste got our hair cut and dyed yesterday. it looks awesome. the stupid bitch cut my hair too short though. hmph. i like it still. i guess :\
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| not what i thought it'd be |
[03 Apr 2005|01:42pm] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
] |
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music |
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little sister- queens of the stoneage |
] |
 | You scored as Goofy. Your alter ego is Goofy! You are fun and great to be around, and you are always willing to help others. You arn't worried about embarrassing yourself, so you are one who is more willing to try new things.
Goofy | | 75% | Donald Duck | | 69% | Ariel | | 63% | Peter Pan | | 63% | Sleeping Beauty | | 56% | Cinderella | | 56% | The Beast | | 56% | Pinocchio | | 44% | Snow White | | 38% | Cruella De Ville | | 31% | </td>
Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com |
do you agree?
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[01 Apr 2005|07:34pm] |
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mood |
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upset and torn with no tears |
] |
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music |
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dead skin- crossfade |
] |
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Write down what it says: "Arthur's Windsheild Repair SVC" (phone book)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? a coaster
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? somethign on vh1 about celebrity sex tapes
4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 7:35
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 7:36
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? the fan blades on the ceiling spinning and the chain hitting the light
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? about 2 minutes ago to tell boomer bye as he left
8. Before you came to this website [started this survey], what did you look at? hotmail
9. What are you wearing? a brown stewie shirt that says "why you sick sick little moo cow" and khaki pants
10. Did you dream last night? sam and me were hanging out and he pissed me off so i pissed him off in return and he threatened to hit me, then he broke down crying and swore he'd never hurt me again (emotionally or physically) and begged for forgiveness
11. When did you last laugh? a few hours ago
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? stains, thumb tacks, and tape
13. Seen anything weird lately? we just watched the exorcist the beginnings and there was some weird stuff in that
14. What do you think of this quiz? it keeps me occupied until my dad comes home and we go get celeste
15. What is the last film you saw? exorcist: the beginnings
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? maybe a cd or something small like a trinket of some sort
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: I'm currently feeling more conflicted about life and love than ever before.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? more love and less hate
19. Do you like to dance? yeah
20. George Bush: pisses me off
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Laila
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Tairen
23. Would you ever consider living abroad? if i didnt have to start out alone
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? "I think you took a wrong turn..."
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[01 Apr 2005|12:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
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aggravated but ok, cuz'a brie! |
] |
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music |
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cold- crossfade |
] |
hello there. brie's over here now. lol. we've become inseperable. except for that eventually tomorrow she will be going home... but until then, attached at the hip!! lol. yeah. i stayed there the past 2 nights and now she's here. lol. interesting...
i dont think sam likes it too much but whatever. im not exactly thrilled with him right now.
i wish he'd just be completely honest with me. then i'd never feel like this. i mean yeah, i'd be dissapointed sometimes but i'd never feel THIS bad. i dont think he realizes that sometimes... everyone else sees it though. for the most part anyway. i dont know.
maybe i should take some people's advice and just get a hook up buddy. that's not me but hey, you should always try new things. lol. no... i dont know about all that. i know it's gonna be hard to get through this i just hafta focus on other things for now. like me and brie becoming freakin sisters over night! interesting... but again i hafta say, sam doesnt seem too thrilled about that.
boomer came over tonight too. we watched "exorcist: the beginnings" it was good except for the fact that the dvd kept skipping. we missed about 20 minutes of it total. yeah... i THINK we got the important parts... maybe?
anywho- im hungry... and i've been chewing this gum for the past 2 1/2 hours and my jaw's starting to hurt... so ima go take care of that...
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